If Arts Lecturers were Brexit Politicians
Ever wondered what Boris Johnson would be like as a lecturer? Dilhan Salgado D’Arcy explores the possibility.
The Boris
Their lectures are famous: bold words, emphatic statements and more gesticulating than the narrow streets of Naples. But despite the academic jargon and phrases that were once consigned to history, this lecturer’s arguments are often very difficult to understand. Moreover, many of their points seem to contradict each other with no explanation given, and some just go against the most basic of google searches. Despite their scruffy appearance, this lecturer is notoriously strict with deadlines. No matter how bad your essay is, do not ask for an extension.
The Jezza
Love them or hate them, this lecturer is consistent if nothing else. The cause of Brutus and Caesar’s rocky relationship? Capitalist oppression! The inspiration behind classical architecture? Neoliberal imperialism! Cathy’s undying love for Heathcliff? Well, you get the message. If your essay does not use this lecturer’s favourite theory, or even contradicts it, just scrap it and write a more suitable one. No matter how many complaints they get, their sheer conviction has rooted them to the ground and they don’t seem to be going anywhere. Just pretend you are a good worker and keep your head down.
The Rees-Mogg
Woe betide any work with typos in this lecturer’s class. Expect your essays handed back a bleeding red mess of underlined words, circled phrases and more semi-colons than you knew existed. Behind their softly spoken and gentile façade lies a grammar Nazi through and through, ready to cut your grades even faster and deeper than they want to cut taxes. Although they themselves often break the rules that they ardently insist their students follow, a neat binder and double-spaced Times New Roman font may cover up your deadly sins.
The Maybot
Their lectures make you wish it were raining just so that you would hear something slightly less dull. Their articles seem to argue everything and nothing all at once, coming to bland conclusions that extinguish any hope of making a meaningful point. They were probably appointed lecturer out of the university’s obligation, and you endure their modules for the very same reason. After what feels like an eternity of yawns and rolling eyes, the module finally ends, leaving everyone wondering if they have learned anything at all. The good news is, if they like you, you will probably get a good grade or even an academic honour thrown in when the whole ordeal is over.
The Bercow
They don’t mind what your philosophy is. They don’t mind which way you choose to answer a question. Anything other than complete neutrality would be most unprofessional! It really is strange, then, how half of the class flourish under their class and the other half fail time and time again. It’s almost as if this lecturer has some sort of preference towards students they agree with. But don’t think of telling them that. You are just a mere footling after all.
The Gina Miller
She doesn’t even go here.
The Farage
Their lectures make it seem so clear and simple. However, once you start writing, it begins to appear a little more complicated than they made out. Some of the facts they told you so confidently suddenly look a little shaky. Some of the sources they quoted are unreliable if not downright offensive. Before you know it, you are in their office a day before a deadline, crying over a nonsensical mess of an essay, unable to take back control of your argument, structure or grades. This lecturer is a convenient person to blame if it all goes wrong but whether you wanted their module or not, it’s still you who fails the class.
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Brands that manufacture chronometer watches
Understanding COSC Accreditation and Its Importance in Horology
COSC Validation and its Demanding Criteria
Controle Officiel Suisse des Chronometres, or the Controle Officiel Suisse des Chronometres, is the authorized Swiss testing agency that verifies the precision and accuracy of timepieces. COSC certification is a mark of excellent craftsmanship and trustworthiness in chronometry. Not all watch brands pursue COSC accreditation, such as Hublot, which instead follows to its proprietary stringent criteria with movements like the UNICO, attaining equivalent precision.
The Art of Exact Timekeeping
The core mechanism of a mechanized timepiece involves the spring, which delivers power as it unwinds. This mechanism, however, can be vulnerable to external factors that may influence its precision. COSC-certified movements undergo strict testing—over 15 days in various circumstances (five positions, three temperatures)—to ensure their durability and dependability. The tests evaluate:
Typical daily rate accuracy between -4 and +6 seconds.
Mean variation, maximum variation rates, and effects of temperature changes.
Why COSC Validation Is Important
For watch aficionados and collectors, a COSC-accredited watch isn’t just a item of tech but a proof to enduring quality and precision. It signifies a timepiece that:
Offers exceptional dependability and accuracy.
Offers assurance of superiority across the complete construction of the timepiece.
Is apt to hold its worth better, making it a wise investment.
Popular Chronometer Manufacturers
Several famous manufacturers prioritize COSC accreditation for their timepieces, including Rolex, Omega, Breitling, and Longines, among others. Longines, for instance, provides collections like the Record and Soul, which feature COSC-validated movements equipped with cutting-edge materials like silicone equilibrium springs to boost durability and performance.
Historical Context and the Development of Chronometers
The idea of the timepiece originates back to the need for accurate timekeeping for navigation at sea, emphasized by John Harrison’s work in the 18th century. Since the formal establishment of COSC in 1973, the certification has become a standard for assessing the precision of high-end watches, continuing a tradition of superiority in horology.
Conclusion
Owning a COSC-certified watch is more than an visual choice; it’s a dedication to excellence and precision. For those appreciating accuracy above all, the COSC validation provides peace of thoughts, guaranteeing that each validated watch will perform reliably under various circumstances. Whether for individual contentment or as an investment, COSC-accredited watches distinguish themselves in the world of horology, bearing on a legacy of meticulous timekeeping.